Almost gone

Time is catching up with me now... Last few days went by too fast. I woke up at 6.30 this morning, first thing in my mind: "What the FUCK am I doing?" (After that I had the strange half dreaming thought that I had to switch my mind into another mode, but I didn't know how... After a minute contemplating this difficult problem I went back to sleep again) Anyhow, in such moments doubt strikes, I was expecting doubt of course, but at this point it's real. It's the same kind of thinking that made me want to go to Paris. Luckily it only comes when my head is filled with thoughts disturbing me in trying to get to sleep, Throughout the day, when my mind reviews what is going to happen I'm filled with excitement and amazement. I'm not the solitary and adventurous character that does these things. When choosing a High School to go to, the fact that one of my best friends was going there played a part in the final decision. If a friend were to go with me I'd be much relieved. But alas, that's not going to happen. And besides, there a at least two people I know in or around Paris, one of them is an au pair in Versailles, the other will be learning something at the Sorbonne I think, how to contact them though is beyond me, I have their numbers nor their e-mail addresses. So if anybody reading this has knowledge of their(Vera V. en Alexander P.) e-mail addresses, let me know.

What will I be doing these last two days, not much. I seem to remember I had a few things to do, but I'm not able recall the specifics. I'll leave those things be. My mother will be a bit stressed and therefore a bit touchy anyway. Aside from these important things I can't extract from my memory I do have a few nice things for these two days. First, Irma will come by this afternoon, although there is no knowing when for me. Second, tomorrow evening there is a goodbye party of two good friends of mine, which I really look out to. After that, things may be as they may be, completely unknown to me.